Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
