Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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