So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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