hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
