Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
