so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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