a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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