How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
