god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i think my cat just said my name.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
