You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think my moral compass just broke
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