We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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