it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
