According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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