I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
