he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
