i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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