bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love you. Go after that dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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