Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
