hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
