Me too!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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