Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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