I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
