If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
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it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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