So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
