So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize