he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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