Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
