yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
