sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize