It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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