I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
