Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
