I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
