Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
