Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
