so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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