At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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