hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
