My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.