dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference