Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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