dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
