I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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