Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
