I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
