where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
