if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong