Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
