No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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