do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
