Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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