areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ugly people sure do ruin things
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I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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