well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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