i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
