hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
