Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
