we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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